Give me the green light
Life has been racing past me at the speed of light, and sometimes I feel like I can’t keep up. The one thing I’m most disappointed in myself is my schoolwork; although I’m not doing too badly when compared to most peoples’ standards, I’m doing horribly compared to my own standards. I probably over-exaggerate most of the time, but I see my friends doing how I’d like to be doing — I think that’s one of the pressures of surrounding yourself with Asian friends. I end up procrastinating because I feel like I can never keep up. In fact, I’m supposed to be writing an APA research paper draft right now due tomorrow, but since it’s only a draft, I tell myself it’s okay if I slack off…except for the fact that I can’t.
Things are back to “normal,” per say. Although I’m taking everything one step at a time, I’ll never forget what I learned about myself during that time. I guess the biggest lessons in life are learned the hard way. If anything, I don’t regret feeling like utter crap that one week — what came out of it I’ll always remember: Stop waiting around for someone to dote on you. Be more independent, learn how to do things without anyone else with you. Even as a couple, you are two separate people. Never compromise to the point where you don’t recognize yourself anymore. I also learned the people I could turn to, the people who would always be there for me (or at least try). I re-established relationships with other people and connected to others with whom I didn’t really converse with before.
I’m also left wondering when anniversaries are now. I’m an overly sentimental person, but does it just pick up where we left off, or do we just start over? It’s a stupid thing to think about, but if nothing ever happened, today would’ve been another month in this whole long ordeal.
But anyways, enough emo-ing. It’s time to be happy and finish this paper! My reward at the end of the week: a concert headlined by Panic! At the Disco featuring The Cab, The Plain White T’s, and Dashboard Confessional. In reality, the only band I’m going to the concert for is Dashboard Confessional and maybe The Cab. AHH I’m so excitedddd…!
Also, in the midst of my procrastination, I found this, which was a little bit freaky. It’s even complete with creepy music!
My results:
You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that ‘True love is just around the corner’ and – if you haven’t found it as yet – you possibly soon will.
You are working extremely hard – perhaps even above and beyond the call of duty. You are preparing for the future and therefore trying to build a firm trouble-free foundation upon which you may base all of your dreams and aspirations.
You are feeling under considerable pressure and you are being forced to make concessions. You are not particularly happy with this state of affairs but you feel that you have no alternative. If you were to force issues you would be left out or completely ignored by one and all.
Recent disappointment has led you to become truly introverted. You are becoming suspicious of everybody and consequently you now feel that you are unable to trust anybody. Unfortunately it would appear that you are curbing your natural enthusiasm and imaginative nature – perhaps this is because you are fearful that you may become over enthused and find that you could possibly be carried away by wishful thinking. You are keeping your distance to see whether attitudes towards you are sincere – but this watchfulness could easily develop into suspicion and distrust.
You are inclined to be too trusting and you feel that you need to be on your guard against the possibility that your endeavours and actions may be misunderstood. Too often you have been taken advantage of and you have been mentally abused. Now you are seeking a relationship which can provide peace of mind, where you can be yourself and not have the need to put on a false front.
Ha. Hahaha. Ha. Ha. Clicking on colored cubes was fun though. I wonder how they translate all that into a personality-type analysis.
Filed under: Life | 1 Comment
Tags: epiphanies, friends, music, personal woes, school
Those darn Asian friends… being so… Asian-y. And stuff.
Ahhh, enjoy the concert!!
Yay for cubes!
OKAY HAH, so I took it twice, once for real and once with eyes closed; which is the real one?
1) At this particular time you are feeling the results of extreme stress and you are seeking a ‘way out’ but you are pushing too hard. Obviously you need peace, tranquillity and contentment. Your temperament is such that you are hoping, unrealistically perhaps, that your desires will shortly be fulfilled (even if at this time you are not quite sure what those true aspirations may be!). You don’t really give in. You follow your beliefs and ideals to the bitter end. You are the personification of stubbornness and whatever may transpire, right or wrong, you refuse to compromise or make concessions. You are trying to break away from the mundane existence that you have been experiencing of late. You have many high hopes and ideals but you are concerned whether circumstances will allow you to realise these ambitions. You want to spread your wings – to broaden your fields of activities – but you are concerned that your dreams are just that – ‘dreams’ which are not realistic. It concerns you that you are not thinking clearly at this time – what you need is to get away from it all, to give you time to think. A short vacation could well restore your confidence. For whatever the reason, you find it extremely difficult to sustain relationships – that is to sustain them in the manner that you would wish. You are a very gentle sort of person, full of feeling, sensitivity and susceptible to love and affection, looking and longing for a partner with whom you can enjoy ‘All things bright and beautiful’ – someone with whom you can seek out the more esoteric things of life. But up to now this person has only existed in your imagination. You are very choosy, appreciative, refined and extremely artistic in temperament and it is your hope to seek others who will allow you to form and express your own taste and judgement and who at the same time may assist you in your intellectual or artistic growth. You are inclined to be too trusting and you feel that you need to be on your guard against the possibility that your endeavours and actions may be misunderstood. Too often you have been taken advantage of and you have been mentally abused. Now you are seeking a relationship which can provide peace of mind, where you can be yourself and not have the need to put on a false front.
2)You feel worn out, physically and mentally. Recently the going has been tough and it looks as if there is still a considerable way for you to go before you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. If only you could put a protecting wall around yourself and cut yourself off from the rest of the world – be it even for only a little while – how wonderful it would be, but you can’t – so you need to bear with it. Just when everything will seem at its lowest ebb you will find that there is a turnabout and your problems will seem to find a way of resolving themselves.
You are trying to improve your position and prestige – be it in your life or in your workplace. Things are, at this time, OK – but they could be better. You feel that it is essential that you break down any opposition that could possibly lurk in the shadows. You know that you are quite capable of achieving this set goal because you have to and because it is essential to your self esteem.
You feel very lonely and frustrated at this time but your shyness and modesty precludes you from establishing any deep form of relationship. You feel rather isolated and alone. You are egocentric and you believe that you are always right – well maybe you are – but you have a short fuse and are likely to take offence for the slightest reason.
You are feeling trapped by the situation as it stands at this time and what is more, you feel powerless to remedy it. You are stressful, angry and disgruntled. You feel that everything that you try to do to change the situation is thwarted and your hopes and aspirations all seem to be receding into the ever distant future. You have reached the state where you now doubt whether your dreams will ever be achieved and this is not only causing mental stress but heartache. You need to get away from it all – you need to have time to think, to recuperate, to be able to make your own decisions.
You need to be needed and would like a situation where you will no longer be subjected to pressures and demands from those about you. There is no harm in ‘dreaming’ but it is you – and only you – that can be able to realise those dreams and to turn them into reality.